The genesis of an Internet Legend:

So how do you feel when your college Essay ends up in one of the internet site? Do you feel pissed off or do you feel like a legend. If it was for me I would have been embarrassed about contemplating how stupid I am writing such bull crap on that sheet of paper- God I could have done better. But read this essay: the one written by the then 19 year old Hugh Gallagher form Pennsylvania

3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

When you read this work- what do you feel like? Is it a joke or a well thought out satire… mocking at the question itself. For me I love the prose for its part romantic part humor approach. Over the years the article has become a legend…. Thanks to internet and the growing number of users for sites like MySpace, Orkut and Facebook. All of them ask you to include an about me section. The first time I came across this paragraph was right when I joined my college. I had seen this beautiful prose, but as usual I was too skeptic to believe it was written by my friend . So I did a Google search and came up with this interesting finding that it was actually written by Hugh Gallagher from Pennsylvania. Over the years different versions of this prose has appeared in several sites. The whole prose itself is an example of one of the first Internet celebrities…. Long long back when there was no Lonelygirl15 and the YouTube.

The reason why I have renewed interest in this prose is due to Jenny a friend of mine. She had the same prose in her profile and I asked her if she knew the original person who wrote this prose. She said no and I was overcome by my boyish charm. Wow finally at I can impress some one with my ton loads of bull crap trivia that I have loaded into my biological hard disk space.

(P.S Usually the trivia that comes out of my holy oral orifice has a high degree of sedative and tranquilizing effect. Other side effects including dizziness and nightmares are also show in certain experimental subjects. And Don't ask me if she was really impressed or not.)

Hugh Gallagher published his own novel called the Teeth and he is now performing as a music artist under the name Von Von Von. You can find a Wikipedia Page for Hugh Gallagher.

Hmm I know, I know I'm going to screw this week again by trying to find and read the novel "the teeth". Bye for now…and thank you Jenny for reminding me that being a maverick has its own rewards.